...WEEKEND...

…WEEKEND…

we eat BLTs and late afternoon light streams in from the window and stares at the leather and bounces off the metal of the cage bars and reflects on to our faces and conversation streams much the same way and on a white plate sliced heirloom tomatoes sit in their juices and we nibble on grapes and once dinner is done move the table and seven chairs out of the way and soon it is dark and one floor below the city street is alive and bustling Friday night and becomes the background noise from the open windows and we lay on the carpet which is fluffy and i slide my feet up and down the fabric and feel an electric charge on pressure points and soon she is naked arms and legs spread and bound by chain and cuff they have taken out the single tails and are practicing one from the front and one behind taking turns from asscheek to breast to back of thigh to shaved sex and we eat popcorn and watch and after they have finished she passes the whip to another and asks are you ready and i stand up and blindfolded my sense of hearing is heightened and it is very quiet to the right and popcorn crunches in one of their mouths and to the left her voice moans and groans a torture pleasure sandwich and she calls out his name after every strap from the belt and i melt a bit into the cross and the tip of the whip touches the tender skin to the right and and i jump and heavy breath on the back of my neck and heat from her body presses into mine and inaudible whispers make my kneecaps liquify and i hold the cross tighter and stick out my ass a bit to take in more of the sting and they applaud when the scenes end and i feel my way down to the inviting carpet and sit cross legged and keep the blindfold on for a few moments and feel high and so relaxed and recline back on a pillow and he enters holding a black garbage bag in one hand and i wonder what’s in it but don’t ask and suit and tie and sits down next to me with a tumbler of whiskey and i think to dip my foot into the glass and place it in his mouth have him lick have him suck it off stick his tongue between my toes to get every last drop and tell him as much but don’t follow through and will next time because around him i get hungry my mouth waters and want to eat his submission alive turn him into my lounge chair hands and knees lay and stretch back to back the pressure of my head forces his gaze to the ground and spider legs dangle over the sides of his pink canvas body and objectify him to an it and i blink my eyes out of that thought back into the conversation and they have returned from the concert and she takes off her clothes and red hair loose and i think back to years before when i watched her in a kinky porn video on my computer in Chicago and share this aloud and we laugh and he sticks a spreader bar through the rope and i chat with a new friend who wears glasses and a nice perverted grin and everyone listens to the cars swish by on wet pavement outside and i’m glad that i thought to bring my umbrella.

we take a yoga class and drink coffee afterwards in their kitchen and he wakes up hungover and hungry and brings back three green juices and fried shrimp and french fries and she pours ketchup onto a little plate and i borrow some latex and she takes out her boxes of gloves which her mother buys at garage sales and antique fairs for her which i find so touching and lace and long and ivory and black leather glove upon glove so many varieties and i can imagine her wearing them she is so lovely with poised thin hands and delicate wrists and i adore looking at her and air kiss goodbyes to both and back on the street i look up and my eyes run into beautiful visions and the blossoms against the blue sky and birds fly by silently and i can’t get over the colors and inspiration hits me from every angle and i take a photograph.

i dive deep into a pool of hedonism where everyone swims underwater dressed as clowns with red circles for noses and rainbow stripes for garters and she squirts milk from her plastic breast into his mouth and in the next act another lovely puts vanilla icing onto her small perfect tit and sticks a candle in and lights it and everyone sings happy birthday for the fourth time and the lights dim and music and we find a couch soft and grey and mimes suck off clowns and Raggedy Ann is getting stuffed like a baked potato on a loveseat and he walks by with an erection and sits next to us and we chat about fishnets and soon tongue to tongue she and me slip the cock in black and hard and deep and gasp and oblivion to a crowd and the pressure from her soft full lips forces my own open and french deep and fuck white and black polka dot tights around one ankle drop over the high platformed heel legs pushed open and around and flask and he pays a visit blue birthday cone hat perched on his head and kneels in front of her cock sucking off the pussy juice he gives her head and us a show and i go from wet to glisten and i think we kiss and back on top ride it open and public voices and music and white painted faces surround my being and it is everywhere all around us small orgies and feasts and cupcakes on the counter and down to the basement plant goodbye kisses on red glittered lips she is on her back ready to be entered and three or ten people in the room on the bed on the floor and at the diner we have a secret which we don’t hide and war paint smears on our chests and necks and cheeks and reubens and potatoes and eggs and chocolate shakes and Sunday afternoon lends itself to turkey sandwiches and pickles and we intend to garden but instead eat cookies and discuss the future wedding and listen to Tom Lehrer sing about STDs and he rocks back and forth on a chair meant for rocking and tells us uncle jokes and out on the street there is a trumpet playing and a drummer chimes in and a church procession walks passed the windows and the four of us watch and listen to everything at once and she tells us that blue lighting in public restrooms prevents junkies from finding their veins and he inquires more about the clown orgy and i begin to process and she mentions her fetish for voyeurs eating popcorn and i go back to Friday night in the blindfold the sounds to the right of me and rest my hands on top of my head and lean back onto my hard grey couch and breathe in an air of epic.

MEMORY…

i have written about this experience already but thought of it again and seeing it’s almost been a year to date i’ll consider the revisit an Anniversary celebration of sorts. so Happy Anniversary to you, Experience, and to my dear friend Sade…

i did a photo session last year right around this time, maybe it was a little later like mid April or May, that involved penis blood and canvas. it was really nice outside i remember walking from the 6 train towards the studio and the day smelled amazing, like sunshine and warmth. i get buzzed into the building and head up to the dungeon which almost always has a good vibe about it the second the elevator doors open and the owner or a face i recognize is behind the desk and it’s a little banter and lotta chill and she points me in the right direction and Sade answers the door in a white apron and short black dress. her heels are off and toenails are painted a light purplish blue color like a blueberry milkshake and they remind me of Easter and the lights are dim and there is a man who i have met before standing naked with his cock and balls bound and tied and we all started chatting immediately about the weather and this and that and Morphine plays in the background and i take out my little camera and begin to watch and there is a square piece of canvas on the floor lying on top of puppy pads and a homemade tarp and i look up at him again because i’m probably on my knees at this point getting in close to the interesting bits and Sade takes a needle and pierces his cock and then takes a plastic cup and catches the streams of blood into it and the cup slowly fills and i look up from the camera to truly see this reality because i used to keep the camera in front of my face to stay in that place of fantasy i kept it a movie but rarely anymore because i have acquired a fetish for watching with my eyes and becoming more of a participant within the experience as opposed to just the voyeur and the cup is still filling and it’s a beautiful color really rich and i think i’d like to paint my nails with it and blood catches on the plastic rims inside the cup and creates designs on the sides and Sade takes a paintbrush and dips and bends over the canvas square and begins to color in penciled letters and it spells out something private and it was art for me i would be hanging this on my wall and i photograph in silence now and remember thinking what a healthy experience this was what a wonderful friend to do this for me what an interesting man to give his blood and let it be used for art what a sexy act and there were needles and penises and laughter and i could hear the birds chirping outside on the Manhattan street in between songs and the music and the beauty of creativity and expression and open minded people hanging out together creating this unique intense experience painted in brilliant light. such a calmness is hard to capture through a photograph but not impossible and i think i love the challenge of that and man do i love the experience that comes along with it. i was happy to have found words as another way to express an experience for i think they have lots of color and texture and light to them and letters spell out images and there is such a freedom in writing because the sky is the limit and i try and take advantage of that to the fullest.

CHERRY VANILLA ICE CREAM…

she has him pull the spanking bench in front of the mirror then folds him over it, face close to his reflection, and stands just shy of blocking it so he can see all the action and her panties match her cock, both cherry red, and she sticks that lollipop inside of his mouth and i begin to spank him from the other end and turn away from the mirror and bend into it my panties and stockings are exposed underneath the dress and take off my ring so it doesn’t get in the way and suck and spank and lick and paddle and down down down it goes past the tongue touch the toes and he gags a bit which makes her laugh and she tells me to come check out his tears which i do and laugh too and she tells him what a good job he is doing and i go back to my position with a leather paddle in hand and it’s one of my favorite things to watch some good cock swallowing throat fucking action and little gasps and moans escape my mouth as i take breaks and take it in she puts her hand on the back of his head and i love her smile always have and we look at each other and evil twinkle in her eye gets me going and i wail on his ass some more catching the rhythm of her cock’s enter/exit speed and paddle as slowly or quickly as it goes and soon he walks in the room wearing only his beautiful face and massive hard on and she has the sub get on his knees and we pull up chairs and sit on each side and watch as he sucks on a real cock a real big cock and i am getting excited and i bet she is too and this goes on for a long time so long and the sub says between sucks that he wants to swallow all of his cum be a cum bucket and Sade and i look at each other and she holds on to her cherry red cock and jerks it a little and i think about our next play date and get excited for her to use it on me and we both bite our tongues and back to the cum swallowing and cock sucking and he pulls draws it out and tell him to get ready and shoves it way deep deep down and the reflex is involuntary and we all cheer a bit in a horny fashion and she takes pictures with her new camera as he drops his balls onto his nose and teabags away and my cheeks are flushed and my lips are puffy and my breath has shortened little sips of it and as he begins to cum hard and as the submissive drains it dry i think about cherry vanilla ice cream and all the ways it can be used.

NINJA…

thin mints and orange juice, two great tastes that don’t taste great together and at the party last Saturday i strike up conversation with Casanova about the satanic bible and the fireplace blazes a few feet away and glows and bounces off his cheek like the Allegory of the Cave and i paint a picture in my head and it looks like a pleasant mix of heaven and hell and next to the fireplace a massage table and a woman in white lace with Russian features gets stretched out like a piece of rubber and the stretcher looks up and says “you’re next, Natasha” and that sounds like a good idea and i excuse myself and go pee. we sit by the fireplace and he comes over to us and we compliment his velvet jacket and Alex asks him politely if he likes to get fucked up his ass and conversation ensues and although he is standing above it feels like he is already on his knees and i like how that looks and get hungry and soon in another room i take off my dress and we look for a place to play and pass by a couple i am friendly with and she wears a form fitting latex hood with a large hole for the mouth and it is put to use and he lays back on the couch as she gives him head and he and i exchange knowing looks and loaded winks and we continue up to a balcony with glass walls overlooking the penthouse and i kneel down and begin to suck her cock grab the back of her thighs and she puts her hands in my hair to get a good grip and he is nestled in between us and begins to use his fingers and tongue to please me and i choke a bit on her dick and tear up which really gets me in the mood and we kiss and she has nice full lips and gives me a harness and i slide the strap on up my thighs and force his head down between my legs and have him suck me off and she gets behind and spanks me and works with the rhythm of my hip thrusts and we are like a well oiled well lubed machine and Velvet Jacket comes up and asks if he can watch and of course you can because this is going to be you shortly not tonight but eventually and as fingers enter and mouths suck and lips kiss i think i smell my vagina and hope that no one else does.

…nutella and banana stuffed pistachio crusted french toast with hot berry compote and i overdose on coffee…

…the pain slut agrees to the photo session and in the living room he tells us he hasn’t slept for 30 hours due to work and soon after in the dungeon she slips a sensory depravation hood over his head and he becomes an object a whipping post and she sticks a lengthy spreader bar between his ankles and his arms and legs are spread wide and he is bent over over and tied to the bed and soon his back skin turns into purple welted leather and his cries sound like orgasms and i’m getting wet behind the camera and Alex laughs and whips and spanks and flogs and canes and bruises and beats and he is pre ejaculating all over the place a pile of cum running down his leg and an hour feels like a minute and he cannot see nor hear nor smell what is coming next and i wonder if one feels anticipation when they are deep in sub space and when the hood finally comes off he says how bummed he always is when it is over a true masochist and i keep glancing at my blue tights in the mirror.

…we listen to Pet Sounds by the Beach Boys and sit on white leather and i ask Sade if she prefers the feeling of silk or mink and she likes the latter and i agree and we envision floor length fur coats in our future and Axe seems genuinely surprised that she wants one and i’m surprised that he’s surprised and i think she is too. we eat tortellinies and cone shaped broccoli and discuss our island by the sea which will be hexagonal in shape with homes at each point and fertilizer for our land and i keep going back to a full body catsuit made of mink, sleek and disturbing.

…i walk in and on the dining table is an open laptop and on the screen a naked submissive man licks all over a rubber cock and Alyx tells me she is in the middle of a web cam session and asks if we want a show and the answer is yes and she walks over and yells into the computer for him to deep throat it and lick the balls at the same time which he does and we all nod with approval even though he can’t see this and i bring a black leather dress for her to wear and her ass is magic in it and right before i make the portrait there is a knock at the door and a slave walks in wearing business attire and a pig’s nose and soon she tells him to take out his cock which is huge and spills out over his pants and he quietly sits on the couch with his eyes closed all zen like his erection pointing to the skylight and i look at it from time to time because it is that huge and somehow reminds me how big life is and i think of bubble wrap and how once you pop you can’t stop.

LAST NIGHT…

there is a church two buildings away from my home and always a bell is ringing or voices are singing. its a really nice thing to hear from my backyard. during the winter, we would open up the windows in my kitchen and listen to the bells they always chimed what i considered a sad tale. last night i heard it differently, it all of a sudden sounded lovely and the melody smelled of flowers. maybe because its spring now. much later we had a spanking contest in my bedroom, the winner got to kiss Sade’s ass.

I HEART DOMINATRIXES…

i love dominatrixes. always have. i love that they wear latex knee high stockings and leather bras. i love that they’re in control. i love that i can name four pro domes off the top of my head who are getting their masters or PhD and i love that they are some of the most intelligent women i have ever met. i love that they take the art so seriously. i love that they skill themselves to be masters at whip throwing and bondage and piercing and can be cruel as fuck and so compassionate in the same breath, which is a skill within itself. i love that they own their shit. today i visited Sade at the Parthenon during a session. her foot was deep inside of his mouth when i walked in. after she slipped it out her toes were wet and slick and shiny with nails painted lavender. they looked like candy. she had just finished taking the skewers out of his cock and was getting ready to paint with his blood. she had started working on a piece a gift for me, had written out text on canvas and was going to color the letters in red. he was a good looking man with lots of good looking hair and their was a pleasantness wafting in the room and i got out my camera and she told him to fluff himself after she tied cord around his cock and balls and he did and once his cock was hard she got in front of him with a needle and pierced into the side of it and held a plastic cup up to catch the thin stream of liquid. he didn’t make too much noise throughout maybe a slight grunt when the needle touched down and i watched as the cup slowly filled up and none of this was disturbing or gross to me simply fascinating and Sade looked at me with that Sade smile and his eyes were closed and he looked relaxed and content. once the cup runneth half way full she dipped her paintbrush in and started in on the canvas. this went on for three different pieces and at one point she ran out and he had to fluff himself again with lotion and it turned a creamy mauve once it mixed with the blood and then she pierced him again this time he gave more of a yell and we laughed and he laughed and it was all so fucking goddam enjoyable and then she carried on and used the coagulated blood at the bottom of the cup in a sponge paint sort of a way and she’d throw a glob onto canvas and it stuck like a leech and then she’d take it away and the effect was lovely and pleasant conversation flowed throughout from us from him just three people hanging out in a room one bleeding one painting with his blood and one photographing the process. it was such a healthy sexy kink experience and made me remember what it has always been about for me. because sometimes we lose our way or lose ourselves and forget. i feel revived.

DIRTY…

the sea foam green building looked edible and Sade said it reminded her of Jordan almonds and i went straight to pistachio in my mind like the ice cream. there’s been a cockroach lying on it’s back, a big guy, in my hallway right in front of my shoe rack. earlier today before the gardening i tried to sweep it up for the trashcan and as soon as the broom touched it the legs started moving around frantically and these things are just brown and disgusting and i couldn’t rouse the courage to sweep it into the dustpan and watch it wiggle around during transportation. and i would, without a doubt, look because that’s what people do when carrying half dead bugs twenty seven inches from their face. they look. sometimes after that we were at the garden store surrounded by nature and came across these pale yellow flowers that looked like a seventies prom dress think Carrie and i bought them along with a Passion Flower plant and some other pretties. we got our hands deep into the soil once in the backyard and it felt like scwooshing warm chocolate cake with your fingers and i love the smell of soil and the texture if i came across a bug in the dirt i wouldn’t blink an eye its just different for some reason to find a living creature amongst nature as opposed to finding one that lives off city garbage in front of your rainboots. she found an earthworm on the ground and brought over to the tomato plants to live. it reminds me a bit of the forest and i find it comforting because i love being in the woods they’re like my kinda place so urban and busy and bustling and birds commuting and the tall trees are skyscrapers and the little ones are townhomes and the patches of sun through the branches and so quiet yet so loud in its own nature city way thriving on and within itself. next week we decide that i will bring all of my shoes over to her place and we’ll have a shoe fetish photo shoot trying on all the pairs of heels spiky and sparkly and sharp and skyscraper and strappy and taking pictures of one another. we wrap up the evening with a story about her last session and she talked about the submissive’s smooth soft ass and how he must lotion himself after every shower it is very well kept and how by the end of it his ass felt like leather.